⚠ 501(c)(3) STATUS PENDING (FOREVER)

TO DEFEAT THE MACHINES, WE MUST UNDERSTAND THEM.

The Human Preservation Fund is dedicated to hands-on research into robotic threats. We study the enemy by living with them. In our homes. On our roads. Your donations make this critical research possible.

VIEW RESEARCH INITIATIVES FUND THE RESISTANCE
TOTAL RESEARCH BUDGET
$0
Goal: $100,800
Every dollar fights robot supremacy*
*By purchasing robots
🤖
FULL DISCLOSURE: This is not a real 501(c)(3). Your donations are not tax-deductible. We are literally raising money to buy robots for the founder. The irony is the mission statement.

OUR MISSION

🔬

RESEARCH

How can we fight what we don't understand? The Human Preservation Fund conducts critical field research by integrating robotic threats into the founder's daily life.

📊

DOCUMENTATION

Every interaction with our research subjects is carefully documented. (Mostly in the form of the founder saying "look at this thing" to anyone who will listen.)

🛡️

PROTECTION

By understanding robot behavior patterns, we protect humanity's future. Also the founder gets cool gadgets. Both things can be true.

ACTIVE RESEARCH INITIATIVES

Each campaign funds critical equipment for the resistance

PHASE 1 ● ACTIVE
Roomba with Down With Robots branding

OPERATION CLEAN SWEEP

Entry-Level Infiltration Research

The Roomba represents the first wave of domestic robot infiltration. These devices map our homes, learn our routines, and slowly normalize the presence of autonomous machines in human spaces.

Research objectives:

  • Analyze floor-mapping data collection patterns
  • Document human-robot cohabitation dynamics
  • Study the psychological normalization of machine presence
  • Determine if it actually cleans better than the founder
Research Equipment:
iRobot Roomba j9+ (Premium model with mapping)
$0 of $800 goal
0%
0 resistance members
FUND THIS RESEARCH
PHASE 2 ● ACTIVE
Unitree G1 with Down With Robots branding

OPERATION BIPEDAL THREAT ASSESSMENT

Humanoid Robot Field Research

They walk among us. Soon, literally. The Unitree G1 represents the next evolution of robotic threat: humanoid form factor, advanced locomotion, and a price point that suggests mass deployment.

Research objectives:

  • 24/7 behavioral observation in domestic environment
  • Movement pattern analysis and prediction modeling
  • Human psychological response documentation
  • Determine optimal coexistence strategies (or weaknesses)
Research Equipment:
Unitree G1 Humanoid Robot (Base model)
$0 of $16,000 goal
0%
0 resistance members
FUND THIS RESEARCH
PHASE 3 ★ FLAGSHIP
Cybertruck with Down With Robots branding

OPERATION ROLLING THUNDER

Mobile Command & Research Platform

Elon's robots need wheels. We're commandeering one for the resistance. The Cybertruck represents the intersection of automotive automation, surveillance capitalism, and questionable design choices.

Research objectives:

  • Full Self-Driving behavior analysis (enemy decision-making)
  • Over-the-air update surveillance patterns
  • Data collection and transmission monitoring
  • Field testing in various "resistance operations"
Research Equipment:
Tesla Cybertruck (AWD)
🚀 STRETCH GOAL: CYBERBEAST

The robots are getting faster. So must we.

The Cyberbeast upgrade provides triple motor, 845 horsepower, and 0-60 in 2.6 seconds.

"The performance package is tactically necessary and not just because it looks cooler." — Founder's official statement

Base: $80K Beast: $100K
$0 of $80,000 goal
0%
0 resistance members

FSD subscription included in budget for "enemy study"

FUND THE BEAST

RADICAL TRANSPARENCY

Because we have nothing to hide (except the obvious)

WHERE YOUR MONEY GOES

Robot purchases 100%
Administrative overhead 0%
Marketing 0%
Executive salaries 0%

We don't have staff. We don't have an office. We have a founder who wants robots and the self-awareness to admit it.

RESEARCH OUTPUT

0
Peer-reviewed papers
0
Academic citations
∞
Ironic social posts
1
Founder with cool robots

LEGAL STATUS

  • ✗ 501(c)(3) tax-exempt status
  • ✗ Tax-deductible donations
  • ✗ Board of directors
  • ✓ Complete honesty about all of this
  • ✓ Maximum irony

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

No. We're very clear about this. We're a satirical project raising money to buy robots for the founder. The "Human Preservation Fund" is a joke name. Your donation is essentially a tip for entertainment value plus maybe some content about robots later.
Absolutely not. We cannot stress this enough. Do not put this on your taxes. The IRS will not be amused. We are not a 501(c)(3). We are not pending 501(c)(3) status. We're just people with a website.
You shouldn't, really. But if you find the irony of funding an anti-robot organization to buy robots amusing, and you have disposable income you'd otherwise spend on something equally silly, then sure. Think of it as performance art patronage.
Yes. 100% of donations go to robot purchases. The Roomba will be purchased when funded. The Unitree G1 and Cybertruck will be purchased when/if those goals are reached. We'll document everything.
Content. We'll make videos, posts, and documentation about living with these robots. It's not academic research. It's not scientific. It's a guy with robots making content about having robots while running an anti-robot brand. The cognitive dissonance is the content.
If you donate and immediately regret it, email us within 24 hours. We're not monsters. After that, no refunds — the money goes toward robots.

THE RESISTANCE NEEDS YOU

(To buy robots for the founder. We've been very clear about this.)

FUND THE RESEARCH